The Full Montagu

The Full Montagu at Earl of Sandwich

earlofsandwichusa.com

F

Rarely does a sandwich elicit anger, but ... fuck this place. Seriously. My first Earl of Sandwich experience was so miserable, I swore I'd never return. But they opened another one here in Vegas at the Palms, and I happened to be in the food court, and how bad could it be? Terribly, disgustingly bad. I encourage you to go to the Earl's website and look at their pic of this sandwich, and then compare it to the real thing above. I know, I know, this is never a fair comparison, but then again, when you spend your hard-earned bucks on a sandwich you don't expect the meat to be slimy. The Full Montagu—this name makes me even more angry since it bears the name of the man credited with inventing the sandwich—is supposed to be a tasty pile of roast beef, turkey, Swiss and cheddar cheeses, "the Earl's mustard sauce" plus lettuce and tomato. Somebody behind the counter clearly thought "the Earl's mustard sauce" was so good, they should drench both sides of this dry, dense, thick and crumbly roll with it. Well, it's not good. It's not good at all. It's abhorrent. And this sandwich is a mushy abomination. Fuck.

Bacon Cheeseburger

Bacon Cheeseburger at Five Guys

fiveguys.com

A

There's something beautiful about Five Guys. It makes sense that this burger chain has been compared to In-N-Out, because of this menu simplicity and a focus on creating the straight-up tasty, but Five Guys is like the evolution of In-N-Out: all the crazy toppings you can't get there, you can get here. And then some. So for my first Five Guys burger, I focused on the one thing just about everybody wants but can't get on a burger from In-N-Out—bacon. To the standard bacon cheeseburger—which has a double patty, mind you—I added sauteed mushrooms and onions, skipping the fresh crisp veggie stuff. Five Guys brings the all-American burger taste, slightly greasy, loosely packed beef smothered in melted American cheese. The bacon was crisp and my other toppings were flavorful, and the spongy bun also reminded me of In-N-Out without the shiny, buttery top. In my 'hood, we've got this new Five Guys, In-N-Out a couple blocks down, and Smashburger across the street. That's a pretty strong burger battle.