C.B. Hash

C.B. Hash at The Goodwich

the-goodwich.com

A

Is the breakfast menu at The Goodwich the greatest thing ever? Six sandwiches for $3, $5 or $7, impossible to choose a favorite, each crafted with love and talent. We are determined to work our way through what is surely the best breakfast sandwich selection ever assembled, starting with house-made corned beef hash plastered between two tasty, toasty slabs of marble rye with melty Swiss cheese, a fried egg and liberal splashes of green Tabasco. The hash is melt-in-your-mouth lovely, a blend of salty, fatty, and toothsome, flavor-absorbing potato morsels. And look at that cheese stretch! It's a work of art, and it tastes beautiful, too.

Egg Sandwich with Salami

Egg Sandwich with Salami at Capriotti's

capriottis.com

C

So a few select locations of Capriotti's serve a simple breakfast menu. This is mostly occurring at mini-Cap's stores in food court locations. At the Green Valley Ranch Resort spot, it seemed like a good idea to snag an eggwich before work. It turned out to be a mediocre idea. This is a version of the NYC egg sandwich, a soft kaiser roll with a quick scrambled egg, cheese and maybe a meat of your choice. I went the salami route, and was happy to discover they actually grilled the slices of meat for a bit on the flat top to achieve some crispy, greasy goodness. The roll was nice and fluffy, too. But overall, this is just too bland a bite. Don't be afraid to put a spicy, creamy spread of some sort to make breakfast come alive. Or, maybe don't be so skimpy with your salami. 

Texas BBQ Thickburger

Texas BBQ Thickburger at Carl's Jr.

carlsjr.com

D

What's on the latest monstrosity from Carl? A third-pound Black Angus beef patty (or a half, if you like), American cheese, "smoked brisket" in cloying "mesquite BBQ sauce" and fried jalapeño and onion bits. The brisket goes on the bun first, a mushy amalgam of fat and sugar. There's no trace of the guilty pleasure satisfaction that comes with putting additional meat on a cheeseburger. Carl's Jr. makes what is probably the best-known barbecue burger on the planet, the old Western Bacon Chee, so it's kind of disappointing that this adjustment—brisket for bacon, fryer leavings for onion rings—is so much crappier. But then again, it's certainly not surprising. I will say this: the new buns at Carl's are an improvement. A tiny improvement, but progress all the same.

Chicken Fried Foie Gras

Chicken Fried Foie Gras at Comme Ça

commecarestaurant.com

A

Dude. Do you understand the concept of dirty food? Stuff that is so rich, so over the top, so decadent, that it can't be described any other way? This is the dirtiest slider ever invented or consumed, and it defies description. A sweet roll. A mound of crunchy, ridiculously guilt-inducing chicken-fried foie gras, pure pleasure in every way. Way, way, way too much black truffle gravy. Caramelized onions. Ho. Lee. Fuck. Dirty, y'all.

Regular Al

Regular Al at Al's Beef

alsbeef.com

A+

So we're told this is the way to eat your Chicago-style Italian beef sandwich: with provolone cheese, plus the combination of hot giardiniera and sweet peppers, plus "dipped." What does that mean? It means this finely shaved roast beef, which is simmered in a savory gravy forever, not only goes straight from the gravy to your roll—bringing all kinds of delicious juices to the sandwich—but then the entire sandwich takes a quick bath into the gravy. Is it messy, a little bit soggy, and impossible to eat without getting a little Al all over you? Yes. Is it worth it. Oh hell yes. Not surprising to many of the Windy City transplants living in Las Vegas, this is the best Italian beef we've ever tasted. The meat is incredibly tender and delicious, a great dish on its own. Augmented with the sweet, spicy, vinegary blast from the peppers, it's just amazing. Of course, you don't have to do it up with the works like this. But this is perfection, guilty pleasure food we want to eat every day.

Vegas Burger

Vegas Burger at Bobby's Burger Palace

bobbysburgerpalace.com

A-

It's summer in Vegas. It's time for a burger. And it was time to return to Bobby Flay's new (to Vegas) burger joint to eat the Vegas Burger, a perfect patty topped with white American cheese, Fresno chilies and Lay's barbecue potato chips. It sounds a little ridiculous, but it's mighty tasty. The dominant factor in its awesomeness are the juicy, beautifully cooked and seasoned beef, and the double dose of cheese melted completely over the patty. BBP makes burgers you'd make at home if you knew what you were doing. It's as simple as that. And they keep the toppings minimal, allowing you to sauce your own burger with a variety of condiments available on your table. I smothered this sucker with green jalapeño sauce and some chipotle ketchup, spicy-sweet flavors that played well with the chilies. BBP isn't revolutionary, but it is one of the top burger joints on the Vegas Strip, a fun and delicious spot without the pretension and high prices of other celeb chef restaurants.

Tzatziki Burger

Tzatziki Burger

homemade

B-

It only recently occurred to us that a veggie burger patty—especially one with a bit of Indian spice like this one—is a perfect fit for cool, creamy tzatziki sauce. So we put these friends together on a potato bun with some greens, and boom, a sorta Greekish veggie burger that satisfies. It would have been better with some sort of crunchy, spicy pickled thing on top, but hey, it's a process.

Irish Club

Irish Club at Bennigan's

bennigans.com

C

The allsandwich summer vacation continues in … wait for it … Iowa. Whatever, don't judge. The most famous Iowa sandwich is probably the deep fried pork loin sandwich, but our first taste off the plane in Des Moines was at Bennigan's, which I didn't believe was a real place until I ate this monster—turkey, roast beef and corned beef piled high on a pretzel bun with strips of bacon, lettuce, tomato and onion. There was a Russian dressing-like spread, too. It was a lot to handle, a meat load that ate more like a burger than a sandwich. But in the end, it was just something odd at a decidedly not odd chain restaurant. I'm also pretty sure the Bennigan's menu claims to have invented the Monte Cristo, which is some amazing bullshit.