Santa Cruz

Santa Cruz at Beach Hut Deli

beachhutdeli.com

C

Beach Hut Deli, a franchise new to the Las Vega area, is kind of like Port of Subs did a bunch of steroids then smoked a huge joint. The sandwiches are gigantic, and while a huge sandwich is not inherently problematic, they are cramming way too much stuff onboard rather bland, dry hoagie rolls. Restraint is important when you're making food for people to eat, especially when you're trying to make exciting food that people will talk about and blog about and take Instagram pictures of and be hungry and come back for more. Be creative, try some wild combinations, but draw the line the somewhere or else you're gonna drop a monstrosity in which PASTRAMI AND CREAM CHEESE ARE ON THE SAME SANDWICH. (Capital letters indicate sandwich blasphemy, in case you hadn't noticed.) So this thing, the Santa Cruz, has those two unhappy partners, plus avocado, bacon, mayo, mustard, pickles, tomatoes, red onion, lettuce, peppers and more cheese, melted. I think it was provolone. I don't know. How can you keep track? Look at this photo: ridiculous. Now look at it and imagine it without the pastrami—which, by the way, was decent and there was a lot of it—melted cheese or pickles. All of a sudden you've got a killer BLT, no? I know there are those of you who see a sandwich like this and get excited. Keep it coming, you'll say. No, friend, that is not the way. Restraint is important.

Turkey Burger

Turkey Burger at Terrace Pointe Cafe

wynnlasvegas.com

B

Ah, the turkey burger. The blandest burger you can order, right? For when you don't really want to enjoy your burger, the turkey burger. It's just the truth, people. So under what circumstances would we order one? Lunching alone at Wynn's lovely Terrace Pointe Cafe, of course. Turns out, it's a delicious choice. Maybe the best turkey burger ever. There was a savory outer crust on this turkey patty that is usually unattainable due to the fact that turkey is so lean. Leave it to casino coffee shop chefs to work some magic. Fancy toppings include avocado, lettuce, tomato, grilled onions and pea tendrils. The bread: a rather robust honey wheat bun. Next time we'll get the blackened blue cheese burger. You know, stop fucking around. No pea tendrils on that one.

Banana French Toast

Banana French Toast

homemade

C

Look, it's a sandwich if we say it's a sandwich. Honey wheat bread griddled in cinnamon egg batter, sliced bananas and a drizzle of pomegranate honey inside. Damn ... forgot the peanut butter.

Double Del Cheeseburger

Double Del Cheeseburger at Del Taco

deltaco.com

D+

On one hand, there's a little voice inside us that thinks Del Taco deserves a little extra credit as the rare fast food franchise that combines fake Mexican food like tacos and burritos with traditional drive-thru eats like burgers, fries and shakes. On the other, there's the undeniable fact that while Del Taco does a lot of stuff, it doesn't do anything particularly well. The Double Del is Del Taco's version of the Big Mac or Double-Double in two ways: it offers standard toppings of two questionable beef patties, two slices of American cheeseness, tomato, lettuce, onions and "burger sauce" on a sesame seed bun; and secondly, it offers flavors that are similar to other burger chains while simultaneously tasting singularly like Del Taco. Only someone who has eaten too much fast food will understand what we're talking about. Should you eat this? No. Should you eat something else at Del Taco? Depends on what you were drinking and what time it is.

Chicken Parkers

Chicken Parkers

homemade (sort of)

B+

Two ingredients and mighty tasty. You know that thing where you go out to dinner at a great Vegas steakhouse (in this case, Brand at Monte Carlo) and they give you a whole, fresh batch of Parker House rolls to take home with your leftovers? Yeah, well, it's cool when that happens.

Farm Burger

Farm Burger at Gordon Ramsay BurGR

gordonramsay.com

A

A super celebrity chef fancy burger joint! This would not usually excite us, but Gordo's spot at Planet Hollywood is putting it down. This is our favorite burger on the menu so far, topped simply and perfectly by English sharp cheddar cheese, duck breast bacon and a lovely fried egg. The beef is a wonderfully composed grind, fatty and juicy, and though we are getting a bit tired of sweet brioche buns for burgers, the goodies here are so savory that it's a nice counterpoint. This is an awesome burger. Look, people are going to complain about the prices and the service at a place like this. You just have to remember you're on the Vegas Strip. Take a bite and enjoy yourself, and if this isn't for you, head south to Fatburger and spend less for a lesser burger.

Denver Omelet

Denver Omelet at Einstein Bros Bagels

einsteinbros.com

C-

Apparently it wasn't enough for Einstein Bros to bastardize bagels, they had to go and fuck up omelets, too. I mean, really. Call it a Denver sandwich at least. Doesn't the stuff have to be mixed in with the eggs to even merit the word omelet? So maybe this is a deconstructed Denver, with slices of ham, cheddar-ish cheese and diced green bell peppers atop an unholy disc of egg (Is it scrambled? Fried? Why does it look like that? What color is that?) all piled into your choice of bagel. We went with plain. Call us boring. Whatever. It still beats a McMuffin.

Caesar Steak

Caesar Steak at Those Guys Pies

thoseguyspies.com

B

This is one of the weirdest sandwiches we've ever eaten, but it was good enough that we'd like to try it again. This pizza shop also claims to specialize in cheesesteaks, but we just had to try this Caesar Steak,  chopped and griddled ribeye steak, ribbons of romaine in a creamy dressing and plenty of hard-to-see but easy-to-taste parmesan cheese. It tastes exactly like what you think it would, but the chewy-soft Italian roll elevates this sandwich, a super-delicious foundation with the perfect texture for these ingredients. We need to get back to Those Guys Pies and try their basic cheesesteak—expectations are high.

Flyin' Hawaiian

Flyin' Hawaiian at LBS Burger

lbsburger.com

B+

There are lots of Asian burgers around these days, but whenever someone tries to put a Hawaiian twist on our classic American sandwich, it usually involves little more than some teriyaki sauce and a pineapple ring. (And yes, there is pineapple on this bad boy, but it comes in the form of a subtle, sweet chutney on top.) But this burger, thanks to the masterpiece-making kitchen crew at LBS (of Block 16), brings all the flavor without going the cheesy route. (Don't take that literally; there is melted pepperjack on this bitch.) The beef patty also is topped with grilled spam, frisee and chili mayo, and it goes great with onion rings. Now if only somebody would upgrade the Hawaiian pizza, we'd be set.

Muffaletta

Muffaletta at Bread & Butter

breadandbutterlv.com

A

Our favorite Las Vegas Valley sandwich shops have been in a state of upheaval recently. One of our favorites, Johnny McGuire's, no longer exists. Likewise for Eddie D's Italian deli. The amazing chef and baker Chris Herrin (formerly of Bouchon) has sold his great Bread & Butter bakery/cafe, which all but guarantees menu changes and differences in quality and food focus. But the last time we checked, B&B was still serving the best muffaletta in town. A thick layer of meat and cheese—stripes of ham, salami, mortadella, capicola, Swiss, provolone and mozzarella—becomes something else, greater than the sum of those parts, almost impossibly savory, hearty and rich. Cutting through the indulgence is a slathering of briny olive spread and a bit of vinegary giardiniera. Everything is stacked on the house version of a Sicilian loaf, which is more like buttery deep-dish pizza crust than Italian bread. One bite is filling. Change may continue here and all over town, but hopefully this beauty will be maintained in good faith.

Chicken Waldorf Salad

Chicken Waldorf Salad at Fanny's Bistro

fannysbistro.com

B-

People still make chicken waldorf salad? People still eat it? This slightly Italian deli/cafe in Henderson is a cozy, old-fashioned place to eat, so it makes at least a little sense to serve this throwback. And it's tasty: plump white-meat chicken diced into cubes and blended in a creamy, not-too-mayonnaisey mixture with lots of crunchy celery, apples, cashews and onions, slabbed onto fresh panels of bread with lettuce and tomato. (I feel like there were grapes, but I don't see any. Do you?) This feels like a guilty pleasure sandwich, something you won't order very much, but you'll be glad when you do.

Sandwich Sundays Presents: Cappy Ciabatta

Cappy Ciabatta

homemade

B+

If you can only have one meat for your sandwich, you could do a lot worse than Boar's Head Hot Cappy, fatty, salty, melt-in-your-mouth Italian ham laced with red pepper heat. For our holiday edition of Sandwich Sunday, we kicked off a multi-sandwich feast with this soft mini-ciabatta slathered with deli mustard and stacked with cappy and pickled banana peppers. Simple and delicious, and certainly full of festive flavor.

Coney Island Hot Dog

Coney Island Hot Dog at American Coney Island

TheD.com

C-

What do you do once you've decided to buy a downtown Vegas casino and re-brand it with a Detroit theme? Bring in a Detroit hot dog joint, of course. IT'S CALLED LOCAL FLAVOR GET IT. Whatever.

This is the standard dog from American Coney Island in The D. It's a Dearborn Sausage brand dog (from Michigan) in a natural casing, complete with that strange-but-pleasant snap with each bite, and as you can see, it's a bit overcooked, into a wrinkly little puppy. It's supposed to be served in a warm steamed bun with chili sauce, mustard and chopped sweet onions. Unfortunately, the bun was cold, and really, this is maybe the most important thing with hot dogs. Spectacular bread can always cover for subpar sandwich fillings, and a moist, warm bun would have made this a winner. But it was cold. And dry. The chili sauce was fine, well-spiced and guilt-inducing, but the onions were not sweet. Try bitter. Fremont Street is in need of great walk-by-and-bite options, but American Coney, sadly, fails to fill that seemingly simple niche.

The Prosciutto

The Prosciutto at Baguette Cafe

Baguette Cafe on Yelp

B+

Located in a southwest valley office park, Baguette Cafe is one of the great secret sandwich spots of Las Vegas. Walk in and luxuriate in the smell of baking croissants and baguettes, instantly driving your hunger into overdrive. There are no bad choices when it comes to fresh-baked bread, but this is a particularly creative sandwich. Meaty, oily salami proves the perfect counterpoint to the delicate, buttery prosciutto, and both are layered liberally. It's veg'd up with some green leaf lettuce and tomato, then the chef masterfully uses softened blue cheese in place of mayo or other spread and adds walnut crumbles for an intriguing crunch. Of course, the perfect baguette could make any ingredients sing, and this is one perfect baguette.

Grilled Barely Buzzed Cheddar Cheese

Grilled Barely Buzzed Cheddar Cheese at Honey Salt

honeysalt.com

A+

Holy Cheezus. Before Honey Salt opened, chef Kim Canteenwalla offered us a taste of Barely Buzzed cheddar, a rich, sharp, slightly sweet treasure with a bit of coffee rub around the outside, made by Beehive Cheese Company in Utah. That chunk of cheese was pretty great, but it's even better in this grilled sourdough sandwich, all truffled up and transformed into decadent fonduey goodness. This sandwich comes with a cup of Tuscan bean soup, but guess what: nobody cares. Thick, buttery slabs of crunchy toast, just the right amount of greasiness, plus oozing, gooey goodness equals a peerless grilled cheese. Big winner.

Hot Pastrami Deli-Style

Hot Pastrami Deli-Style at the Peppermill

peppermilllasvegas.com

A-

So obviously I haven't been to all the delis in the world, or even all the big famous delis, or even all the delis in Vegas. But I've never been to a deli that puts an extra slice of bread in a hot pastrami sandwich. The Peppermill does it. I didn't think it was a good idea, but it worked. It took away from the meat-mountain effect that often occurs in piled-high deli sandwich construction, providing a nice crispy texture in every bite. The downside: the meat in this sandwich was stuffed into the middle, of course, making for an overabundance of bread in your face when you're eating around the outsides. Not a big problem, though, considering this toasty rye was grilled with lots of butter for guilty-pleasure, greasy goodness. The pastrami was sliced thin, lean, and tasty, and there was melty Swiss cheese and a few dabs of mustard-mayo sauce adding moisture and flavor. The Peppermill is fantastic place to eat a sandwich in Las Vegas; you should go and eat this one.

Spicy Asiago Ranch Chicken Club

Spicy Asiago Ranch Chicken Club at Wendy's

wendys.com

C+

Did you ever notice that fast food joints have long-ass names for their food, whereas nice little neighborhood hole-in-the-wall restaurants and cafes have short names for their food like "chicken sandwich?" Just thinking. Of course, I added one word to this title by ordering this promotional birdwich with Wendy's spicy chicken filet, which is pretty good. Not sure if the red peppery seasoning on the chicken goes well with the asiago cheese and creamy ranch sauce, but the bacon is a nice complement. Of course, there's lettuce and tomatoes on here, too. Overall, pretty good for fast food, no matter what they're calling it.

Vegas Club

Vegas Club at Simpo Sandwich

simposandwich.com

B-

Mayonnaise! (That's supposed to be in your best Louis Gossett Jr. voice.) Yeah, that's a lot of mayo on there, and you know we're not big fans. But check it: that's a lot of turkey on there, too ... thick sliced, smoky turkey, making for a very respectable take on the traditional club. Also, there's crispy bacon, American cheese slices, plenty of crisp lettuce and tomatoes on whole wheat bread. Pretty straight-ahead stuff, and we'll take it. Simpo is a pretty straight-ahead sandwich shop, and you need to have one of those in your neighborhood. Hopefully downtown Vegas will patronize this joint enough to keep it around.

The Full Montagu

The Full Montagu at Earl of Sandwich

earlofsandwichusa.com

F

Rarely does a sandwich elicit anger, but ... fuck this place. Seriously. My first Earl of Sandwich experience was so miserable, I swore I'd never return. But they opened another one here in Vegas at the Palms, and I happened to be in the food court, and how bad could it be? Terribly, disgustingly bad. I encourage you to go to the Earl's website and look at their pic of this sandwich, and then compare it to the real thing above. I know, I know, this is never a fair comparison, but then again, when you spend your hard-earned bucks on a sandwich you don't expect the meat to be slimy. The Full Montagu—this name makes me even more angry since it bears the name of the man credited with inventing the sandwich—is supposed to be a tasty pile of roast beef, turkey, Swiss and cheddar cheeses, "the Earl's mustard sauce" plus lettuce and tomato. Somebody behind the counter clearly thought "the Earl's mustard sauce" was so good, they should drench both sides of this dry, dense, thick and crumbly roll with it. Well, it's not good. It's not good at all. It's abhorrent. And this sandwich is a mushy abomination. Fuck.

Bacon Cheeseburger

Bacon Cheeseburger at Five Guys

fiveguys.com

A

There's something beautiful about Five Guys. It makes sense that this burger chain has been compared to In-N-Out, because of this menu simplicity and a focus on creating the straight-up tasty, but Five Guys is like the evolution of In-N-Out: all the crazy toppings you can't get there, you can get here. And then some. So for my first Five Guys burger, I focused on the one thing just about everybody wants but can't get on a burger from In-N-Out—bacon. To the standard bacon cheeseburger—which has a double patty, mind you—I added sauteed mushrooms and onions, skipping the fresh crisp veggie stuff. Five Guys brings the all-American burger taste, slightly greasy, loosely packed beef smothered in melted American cheese. The bacon was crisp and my other toppings were flavorful, and the spongy bun also reminded me of In-N-Out without the shiny, buttery top. In my 'hood, we've got this new Five Guys, In-N-Out a couple blocks down, and Smashburger across the street. That's a pretty strong burger battle.