Totally Tuna

Totally Tuna Sub at Jimmy John's

jimmyjohns.com

B-

As far as my tastebuds are concerned, Jimmy John's has jumped to the forefront of massive sandwich franchises. We will always be partial to fresh ingredients assembled with loving care, and JJ's seems to serve exactly that on a consistent basis, and in a very speedy manner.

Tuna salad is not something I'm going to order very much, but this version is strong. Moist, not too much mayonnaise, just enough texture from some chopped veggies mixed in, and just enough seasoning to make ordinary tuna fish something special. JJ's standard sub roll is reliably great, soft and chewy, providing that satisfying tear action with each bite. Large slices of tomato and cucumber probably make this sandwich pop above all else. I'm all for sprouts, but either those or the shredded iceberg is bringing a little too much bitterness to the overall tuna experience. That's the only unpleasant thing about this sandwich.

Pulled Pork

Pulled Pork Sandwich

homemade

C+

I know ... this looks delicious. But something went wrong.

This sandwich was crafted from leftovers, mainly a 5-pound pork shoulder that was oven-roasted in an attempt at Hawaiian Kalua pig. The pork was tender and delicious, and easy to shred. But somehow, after a couple of days in the fridge, the meat's flavor was neutralized. It was tossed in a frying pan with a generous slathering of hickory-hoison barbecue sauce, another homemade goodie that also had been in the fridge too long. The spicy sweetness of the sauce had become uncomfortably numb. Topped simply with pickle slices on a sesame seed kaiser roll, this sandwich was solid and satisfying. But a pulled pork sandwich should pack a flavorful punch. Next time, no fridge days, just freshly prepared ingredients.

Vegetarian Turkey Sub

Vegetarian Turkey Sub at Capriotti's

capriottis.com

A

At a sandwich shop known for serving arguably the most popular turkey sandwich in the nation, my go-to order features something called vegetarian turkey, a soy-based, non-meat replacement. It’s a head-smacker, I know.

I discovered the Capriotti’s veggie turkey years ago, during the height of a strict vegetarian diet. The sandwich was a ray of light, a beacon of hope, because it was simultaneously vegetarian and delicious. There is something about the specific veggie turkey used at Capriotti’s, combined with provolone, a sprinkling of lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, olive oil and yellow mustard, that just tastes good. So sacrilegious as some might find it, I say with conviction that the Capriotti’s veggie turkey is even better than the real thing. Go ahead, say it: Crazy.

Pickle Chicken BLT

Pickle Chicken BLT

homemade

B

This sandwich was inspired by a recipe for chicken brined in common pickle juice. We already had marinated some chicken this way and fried it crispy, and the tenderness and subtle salty flavor seemed like a great choice for a sandwich. So this chicken breast was marinated in pickle juice (regular stuff, just the leftovers from a finished jar of Claussen dill pickles) for about a day and a half, then grilled with a light layer of cajun seasoning for a little extra spice. Also riding on this sesame seed kaiser roll: roasted garlic mustard from a gourmet store (we don't do mayo in this house), a couple slabs of bacon, romaine lettuce and a big, thick slice of heirloom tomato.

It's pretty good. The crispness of the lettuce and bacon on the soft bun makes for a nice bite with a mouthful of juicy chicken. You will taste the pickleness, but it's not as strong as you'd think. It lends a nice tenderizing effect that is at least as worthwhile as the taste. It's a little twist, something different, and sometimes that is all it takes to make a good sandwich.

Double Whopper

Double Whopper at Burger King

burgerking.com

D

Now that health care reform has come, places like Burger King will have to post the calorie count of things like the Double Whopper right on the menu. This will happen some time soon, but will it matter? Do you even know what 900 calories looks like? (It looks like this.) And can you believe there is a Triple Whopper?

Let's allow BK's description for this sucker, because after eating it, I'm pretty tired: "Two flame-broiled beef patties stacked high with red ripe tomatoes, crisp lettuce, creamy mayo, ketchup, crunchy pickles, and onions all on a toasted sesame seed bun ... double the satisfaction." Yikes. Although it is true that the flame-broiled beef flavor trumps most of the fast-food competition, there is just too much meat on this sucker. Everything else is untaste-able. There's no crisp, no creamy and no crunch, just a brick of cheesy beef stuck inside you. This is strike two for BK. If you must drive through this drive-through, we recommend a minimalist approach: stick to the regular old 670-calorie Whopper, or better yet, the one-dollar and 460-calorie double cheeseburger.

Pastrami Burger

Pastrami Burger at Sammy's L.A. Pastrami

sammysdogs.com

B

This looks pretty good, huh? The only drawbacks on this beast are its beastly qualities: A quarter-pound burger is layered with a half-pound of pastrami, melted provolone cheese, big pickle slices and yellow mustard. The soft, standard burger roll cannot contain this meaty one-two punch. So yes, it is excessive, as you can see. You just don't need that much pastrami on a burger. The pastrami packs some powerful, fatty flavor, and it overwhelms a pretty high quality, diner-style, all-beef burger. A more balanced portion would make more sense.

There are quite a few crazy burgers and classic sandwiches on the menu at Sammy's, a place where going overboard is the norm. If they are as tasty as the pastrami burger, it will be fun to work our way through the list.

Canter's Famous Pastrami

Canter's Famous Pastrami at Canter's Deli

treasureisland.com

A

Two of the most iconic American delicatessens occupy space in neighborhing casinos on the Las Vegas Strip: New York's Carnegie Deli can be found in the Mirage while Canter's Deli of Los Angeles can be found in Treasure Island. Despite the reputation of these two spots and our obvious deli affection, we have made a habit of avoiding both. Sadly, many times when a popular restaurant expands to a Vegas Strip location the term tourist trap comes into play, and the cuisine is an overpriced, watered-down version of the original. That always has appeared to be the deal at Carnegie, but I can't say for sure because I've never been to New York. The disappointment of Canter's is much more severe because I'm a lifelong west coaster and I've pilgrimmaged to the original on Fairfax Avenue.

But sometimes, you have to give it another try.

The pastrami sandwich I inhaled yesterday was perfect and simple, the way a deli sandwich should be. The bread, seedy rye that always was reliable here, was soft and chewy, with a crusty bite around the edges, and the perfect absorbent for your choice of mustard. There is a quick selection of mustards on each table at Canter's, and if you are wise, you will go with the Beaver brand deli-style, with its whole mustard seeds and grated horseradish. The pastrami was heavenly, tender and moist and not too salty, stacked in abundance. The proportion of fat to meat, something of a problem the last time I ate here a few years ago, has been solved beautifully. Plated with a half pickle and extra crispy shoestring fries, this is the straight-up deli sandwich experience we've been searching for in this city. Canter's Las Vegas is back, and I just have to say: What the hell? Did Mr. Ruffin fix this? MGM Mirage doesn't know how to make a sandwich? It doesn't make sense, but I'm still happy.

A1 Steakhouse XT Burger

A1 Steakhouse XT Burger at Burger King

burgerking.com

D+

So I was reading this story about the fancy new robo-broiler Burger King is rolling out these days, and it reminded me that because of the flame broilyness, BK probably has the best tasting meat among your average bajillion dollar fast food franchises. It certainly sells the best tasting $1 double cheeseburger you can get from a drive-through window. So maybe the new burger getting pumped out of this high-tech device is worth a try.

Turns out, not really. The only real difference between the Steakhouse XT and the other BK offerings is the size and thickness of the meat patty. It's a 7-ouncer and it's a mouthful. Perhaps the thickness explains why it doesn't retained the fire-grilled flavor you'll get in a Whopper; it's too big to be permeated. The toppings include whatever is passing as American cheese, A1 steak sauce, fried onions, lettuce, tomato and an excessive amount of mayo. The steak sauce was almost undetectable, but the onions were crispy and nice and the veggies were fresh enough.

In the world of fast food, every brand has a flavor. It tastes like McDonald's. It tastes like Taco Bell. It tastes like shit, I mean, Arby's. Burger King tastes like Burger King, and that flavor comes from the fire. Lose that, and what have you got? (Answer: Jack in the Box.)

Bagel & Egg Sandwich

Bagel & Egg Sandwich at Bagel Cafe

thebagelcafelv.com

A

You're not going to find this exact sandwich anywhere on The Bagel Cafe's menu. It was invented one morning out of necessity -- the perfect union of bacon, fried egg and cheese, all combined in order to sooth the wicked beast known as the raging hangover.

From its carby base up, this sandwich delivers. The bagels are oversized, chewy and flavorful, and I've yet to come across a flavor that doesn't complement the overall sandwich. (No surprises there -- the bagels better be good, considering the place is named for them.) The sandwich is one of the cafe's egg and bagel offerings, and I usually order mine with one egg fried over easy, then add bacon, cheese and tomato. The waitresses rattle off at least five available kinds of cheese, but I generally stick with cheddar. The bacon and tomato are essential as the bacon grease absorbs lingering queasiness and the tomato sneaks a little extra hydrating water content into the sandwich. Plus, the whole damn thing just tastes good together. Really, really good.

The only way this thing would be better is if it could be ordered with a bloody mary on the side.

The Meatball Sinatra

The Meatball Sinatra at Eddie D's Famous Italian Sandwiches

edsworldfamoussandwiches.com

A+

This sandwich is not exactly on the menu at Eddie D's. Among the add-ons available here is broccoli rabe, a vegetarian condiment of Italian broccoli rabe or rapini mixed with garlic and hot peppers. On the menu at the deli, it was described as "Sinatra-style." So I ordered a homemade meatball sandwich with the rabe. I was told no one had ever ordered that before (not surprising considering this shop is less than a year old) and that if it was good, they would add it to the specials' chalkboard and name it after me.

It is fucking good, and naming a sandwich after me would pretty much be the culmination of a lifelong dream. I suggest it be called the Brock Sinatra.

Eddie D's meatball sandwich is killer without the extras. The velvety meatballs are constructed of a beef and pork mixture, well seasoned and among the very best meatballs I've ever tasted. Combined with homemade marinara gravy and topped with parmigiano cheese on a hard Italian roll, I doubt there's a better meatball sandwich in Vegas. Adding the rabe takes it to another level. The bitterness of the greens, the heat of the fried peppers and a touch of garlic contrast pretty wildly with the decadence in each meaty mouthful. It's crazy. I'm happy to take credit for it, but I think the folks at Eddie D's deserve the accolades. Highly recommended.

Turkey, Bacon & Cheddar Grilled Sandwich

Turkey, Bacon & Cheddar Grilled Sandwich at Jack in the Box

jackinthebox.com

C

Jack in the Box describes this new creation as "roasted turkey, bacon and cheddar cheese with a sun-dried tomato sauce on grilled artisan bread." It's not bad for fast food, but there is no trace of this phantom sun-dried tomato sauce and the bread seems more simple than "artisan." The bacon is crispy enough, the cheese appears to be real and although it looks like a compact sandwich with a tiny portion of turkey, it has a nice satisfying bite to it. It doesn't look, taste or feel like a fast-food product; it's exactly the kind of grilled cheese you'd make at home if you happen to have some turkey and bacon to add on. The biggest drawback, impossible to overlook, is the greasiness. Of course, you always a bit of that with a grilled sandwich and it's not a bad thing, but this thing goes above and beyond with its grease factor. Multiple napkins are not enough.

The Popeye

The Popeye at Shari's Diner

sharis50sdiner.com

A-

Shari's Diner is a total throwback, a '50s-style joint complete with milkshakes and meatloaf. I would argue flame-broiled burgers are what they do best, and they get pretty creative. The Popeye Burger is one of these innovations.

Piled on top of a very well executed half-pound patty on a shiny, almost eggy bun resides a generous portion of creamy feta cheese, two long, crispy strips of bacon and a neat pile of fresh spinach. It sounds and tastes delicious, especially the mixing of the feta and the pure beefy flavor. But what sets this burger apart is a sweet, tangy lemon zest dressing. Shari herself said this thing is supposed to be a spinach salad on a burger, and the dressing reinforces that idea. Surprisingly, the beef, cheese, salty bacon and bitter spinach are further enhanced by this almost candy-sweet dressing. Doesn't sound like it would work out, but it does.

The Johnny Sack

The Johnny Sack at Eddie D's Famous Italian Sandwiches

edsworldfamoussandwiches.com

A

Eddie D's is a new Italian deli in northwest Las Vegas, operated by a family of East Coasters with South Philly/Jersey roots. They decided to open a joint with the familiar tastes of back home, something they just couldn't find here in the desert. Several sandwiches later, this is my favorite shop in the city right now. The menu combines high quality product from the well-known, reliable Thumann's company with some fresh, homemade hot stuff like meatballs and 10-hour roasted pork and beef.

The Johnny Sack was my first experiment at Eddie D's. The menu has an entire section of "signature" sandwiches named after characters from The Sopranos. The Johnny Sack has hot capacola, prosciutto and very, very sharp provolone cheese, with standard fixings of oil and vinegar dressing, lettuce, tomato and onion. The meat is of the highest quality, particulary the buttery prosciutto, and the cheese, delivered in thick chunks instead of thin slices, is a unique treat. It packs the flavor of a dry parmesan with extra moisture. Eddie's prefers to serve its sandwiches on hard rolls like this one, but you can get your pick on a softer roll or on white, rye or wheat bread. This roll is perfect, with a crackling outside and chewy inside.

This is just the beginning of our exploration of Eddie D's.

Two-Fisted BLTA

Two-Fisted BLTA at First Food & Bar

firstfoodandbar.com

C

First Food & Bar is a fun place to eat. It is one of several Las Vegas Strip restaurants offering a tasty, somewhat upscale twist on traditional bar food, and the chef behind First (Sam DeMarco) is often credited with starting this movement and inventing items like the slider, or mini-burger.

So while there are tons of delicious appetizers and exciting small plates to be sampled here, the sandwiches could use some work. Case in point, this behemoth of a BLT. It is stacked, and I mean stacked, with thick, crispy bacon, great slabs of tomatoes, avocado slices and big crispy onion rings to boot. The bread is two large, dry slices of toast. It's big and it's pretty, but there is little to no taste going on here, and the size is what fucks everything up. Not only is it cumbersome and difficult to eat, but every ingredient seems oversized so if you do manage to cram it into your face, you won't get a bite with a bit of everything. This sandwich is simply too much of a good thing.

Spicy Chicken Sandwich

Spicy Chicken Sandwich at Wendy's

wendys.com

C-

Back in high school, we used to race to the nearest fast food joint that wasn't McDonald's, Wendy's, in order to devour some junk and get back to campus in 30 minutes flat. It wasn't easy. Since I never have been a fan of the greasy fried squareburgers this pigtailed witch is serving up, I sought out different menu options. The spicy chicken sandwich was a treasure, relatively speaking. The spice on this breaded, fried chicken breast is actually decent, with a little flavor and enough heat. We discovered that dousing it with barbecue sauce only improved it. As long as you don't get a rotten tomato slice, aged mayo or brown lettuce (and let's face it, the odds of self-poisoning are pretty high here), this is a respectable fast-food sandwich. If only Wendy's could upgrade its bun and veggies, maybe this thing would be more ... edible.

PCH Chili Dog

PCH Chili Dog at Pacific Coast Hot Dog

Pacific Coast Highway in Huntington Beach

B

Don't try to tell me a hot dog isn't a sandwich. It's meat or some other tasty bit in bread, people. A dog might be the most simple sandwich you can get. And this one is a simple pleasure: a steamed frank with a nice snap with each bite, a soft bun, mustard, onions, and plenty of grated Cheddar mounted on a surprisingly delicious, cumin-blasted chili. It was an outstanding breakfast, and the perfect complement to a sunny day on a pristine, picture-perfect California beach. Go here and eat this.

Cuban Sandwich with Tomato Jam

Cuban Sandwich with Tomato Jam

homemade

A+

The recipe/inspiration for this nontraditional Cuban came from Food and Wine magazine. It isn't pressed flat, which strays from tradition, but that's just the beginning.

We started with some fresh, soft bolillos. Instead of a grilled piece of pork and a slice of ham, there is roasted pork, tender, moist and shredded into meaty chunks. The pork was about a 6-pound boneless shoulder cooked simply for about four hours with minimal seasoning. On top of the meat, melted Gruyere, long thin pickle slices, sauteed red onions, pickled jalapenos, and the ingredient that really stole the show. The tomato jam was made from canned roasted tomatoes, white wine vinegar, a little sugar, mustard seed, cinnamon, salt and a little ground clove. Not overly sweet, it simmered long enough to create a rich tomato flavor. This sandwich could have been just pork, cheese and jam and been amazing. But the added texture and layers of flavor from the onions, pickles, jalapenos and a quick wipe of garlic mustard shot this bitch into the stratosphere.

Naked Sandwich

Naked Sandwich (with roast beef) at Naked City

nakedcitylv.com

B-

Naked City is a new sandwich shop in downtown Las Vegas and something sorely needed in this town: neighborhood joints operated by people who put their menu together with lots of love. With the exception of the bread, everything served is made on site from scratch. These East Coast guys roast their own tri-tip, turkey and honey ham, mix their own mayo, mustard and salad dressings, and even make their own pickles (which are spicy and delicious). The simple, minimalist menu really has three sandwich options (Naked, Naked Royal with mild Italian sausage, capicola and fresh mozzarella, and Naked Veggie) to which you can add your choice of toppings.

For my first visit, I decided to go basic with roast beef, but the flavorful extras really put this one over the top. This has roasted but still deliciously rare tri-tip with lettuce, tomato, green chili mustard and horseradish on a Kimmelweck roll. The salt on the roll added an extra savory kick, but the roll itself was a bit dry. This was the only real drawback for this sandwich. The beef was lean and reminded me of the many mornings I've eaten a cold steak leftover from a ridiculously expensive dinner the night before: very beefy flavor. The mustard kept things moist and the horseradish cut deep, the perfect complement in every meaty bite. As much as I admire the short menu at Naked City -- it's pretty close to a deli-style restaurant concept I've been thinking about -- I kinda wish there were more options. The first taste hints at great potential.

Big Mac

Big Mac at McDonald's

mcdonalds.com

F

Although I am weak and occasionally give in to fast food urges, I loathe McDonald's and consider it an entirely evil entity. Whenever I hear or tell stories about eating McDonald's, they always revolve around extreme circumstances or limited availability of actual food, as in "I was in the middle of nowhere and there was nothing to eat but fucking McDonald's." If that's my situation, I will almost always go the royale with cheese route. But for our purposes here at MZ, it seems only proper that we address one of the most consumed and iconic sandwiches in America, for better or for worse. To truly discover and savor exceptional sandwiches, we must absorb what is considered average and commonplace. And so, the Big Mac.

Ignoring the taste, the structure of this sandwich is excessive, and problematic, and excessively problematic. There is an extra bun in the middle, which is unfortunate because neither of the other buns contribute any taste. The lettuce is shredded iceberg, and the pickles, one of the predominant flavors, are less than firm. So your three textural contrasts are pretty much shit. The melted American "cheese," pickles and special sauce -- the latter more mayonnaisish than Thousand Islandy -- combine to form a new, unholy flavor that defies description. Let's call it "Big Mac." It is strong, tangy, gooey and sweet, and it overpowers any beefy flavor that might sneak out of one of these thin, rubbery meat patties. It even out-funks the diced white onion shards.

The only thing more preposterous than the popularity of the Big Mac is the creation of the Big Mack Snack Wrap, the same ingredients rolled up in some wicked fabrication of a tortilla. Don't worry, I'm not going to try it. Hopefully it was a limited time item that will disappear.

The Bobbie

The Bobbie at Capriotti's

capriottis.com

B

The Bobbie is the absolute best sandwich we could think of to kick off all sandwich. Why? For starters, it was recently voted the Best Sandwich in America by AOL's Lemondrop.com. But more naturally, it is the most popular, best-selling sandwich at what is likely the most loved sandwich shop here in Las Vegas: Capriotti's.

Capriotti's was founded in 1976 in Wilmington, Delaware. The company's concept remains based on its original foundations, roasting turkey and beef in-house and baking bread fresh every day in the pursuit of sandwich supremacy. Even though it is based in Delaware, Capriotti's has established a very strong following around the country and particularly in Las Vegas.

The beloved Bobbie is known as Thanksgiving on a bun, a much more delicious version of your traditional leftover turkey sandwich. It really does taste like Thanksgiving, too, and accomplishes this mission by adding cranberry sauce, stuffing and a generous slathering of mayo to a soft, submarine-shaped roll. Capriotti's turkey is not incredibly flavorful (see, just like Thanksgiving!) but is shredded into tender chunks providing a very satisfying bite. The sharpness from the cranberry and the nostalgic taste of the stuffing are the dominant notes. It's a soft sandwich, too soft. That tender bird, plus mushy stuffing on a pillowy roll doesn't add up to interesting texture. Save for that weakness, this is a spectactular sandwich. Best in the country? We'll be the judge of that.