Junkyard Dog

Junkyard Dog at Weinerschnitzel

weinerschnitzel.com

D

For the average eater, a new kind of hot dog at a fast food restaurant might generate slight interest. For me, it equals therapy. Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I just NOT EAT this stuff? The shrink doesn't have any answers.


The JYD at the 'schnitz is the standard chili cheese dog plus French fries, mustard and grilled (diced) onions. This is an improvement, mostly because the 'schnitz fries are probably the best, most satisfying item on the entire menu. They're thin, crispy, and not too greasy. They're nice, but a big bite of fries plus this appalling weiner is not a pleasant textural combo. It's yucky. The onions add a little depth of flavor, but not enough to make this thing edible.

440 Sandwich

440 Sandwich at Rachel's Kitchen

rachelskitchen.com

B

Doesn't "Rachel's Kitchen"sound like the type of place that serves "gourmet sandwiches" such as a nice, healthy, tasty one with grilled chicken breast, roasted red peppers, goat cheese, avocado, tomatoes, lettuce and mayo on toasty wheat bread? Of course it does. Not trying to be snarky. Rachel's is actually one of the best places to eat at The District at Green Valley Ranch in Henderson, a quaint suburban retail walk that could use a little more retail and a little less quaint. Nevertheless, this is a delicious sandwich, particularly the creamy goat cheese working against the sweet, delightful roasted peppers.

BBQ, Bacon and Cheddar Smashburger

BBQ, Bacon & Cheddar at Smashburger

smashburger.com

A

Let's be real: Smashburger is consistently impressive. Sometimes the greasiness of their burgers, depending on the other toppings that may or may not balance things out, can be too much to handle. On this barbecue burger, there is enough texture and flavor to offset any surplus juicyness, not to mention the formidable soakage ability of the firm egg bun. This sucker has cheddar cheese, sweet barbecue sauce, applewood smoked bacon and a nice pile of fried onion straws. Not too sweet, with a crispy-meaty bite, and plenty of richness from real cheese. Smashburger is staying at or near the top when it comes to fast food in Vegas.

Chef Mike's McGriddle

Chef Mike's McGriddle at Border Grill Brunch

bordergrill.com

A

The weekend brunch at Border Grill -- located in Mandalay Bay -- is one of the best meals in Vegas right now, an insane cavalcade of wonderful small plates for an incredible price, and the man who gets the credit is Chef Mike Minor. In addition to killer huevos rancheros, Oaxacan chocolate pancakes, green corn tamales, plantain empanadas, machaca chilaquiles, and way, way more, Chef Mike unleashes an off-the-top-of-the-dome special dish every week. We were lucky enough to visit when he was going all golden arches on that ass, stacking a juicy, spicy sausage patty on a fresh-from-scratch biscuit with bacon, cheese, chipotle aioli and a maple syrup drizzle. That sticky sweetness pushes it way over the edge, duking it out deliciously with the savory meat and rich, buttery biscuit. Can't wait to see what he dreams up next week.

Ultimate Angus Philly

Ultimate Angus Philly at Arby's

arbys.com

C+

The Philly cheesesteak may be an iconic sandwich, but it's certainly not above bastardization. Fast food spots have been doing it for years, and Arby's, as usual, is one guilt culprit. Granted, there does appear to be some textural and flavor difference between this "Ultimate Angus" sliced roast beef and the normal gray-green garbage they use. But the portion of meat is too small to be considered a real Philly, which should be exploding with sliced or chopped meat. Cheese, peppers, onions, blah blah blah. It's still Arby's. Almost a nice try. Not quite.

Red & Green Veggie Burger

Red & Green Veggie Burger

homemade

B-

Okay, we've got a honey wheat bun smeared with Sierra Nevada Porter Spicy Brown Porter Mustard, a Dr. Praeger's veggie burger patty, a melted Kraft American cheese single, homemade pickled red onion, roma tomato slices, and hulking green bell pepper slices. This was nearly a hit. What do we know? What have we learned in our quest to make a legitimate veggie burger (or legitimize the veggie burger)? We know we've got some winners here, with thick slabs of bell pepper that provide a fresh, delightful crunch, and the amazing pickled onions. Wherever this mission goes from here, these two ingredients will be along for the ride. The fake cheese is not a good match, but it does create a peculiar, real-burgerish bite. But it's guilt by association; it makes you feel like you're eating some garbage when you're not. Lesson learned. Let's keep moving.

Muffaletta

Muffaletta at Magnolia's Veranda

fourqueens.com

C+

It's hard to explain exactly how, when searching for a tasty sandwich in Downtown Vegas, I ended up sitting down in the coffee shop at the Four Queens. As far as I can tell, unless you're checking in for some beers at the Chicago Brewing Co., there's really no reason to step foot into the Four Queens. But this is Fremont Street; unexpected things happen down here with totally expected frequency.

This version of a muffaletta is stacked with salty, run-of-the-mill ham, mortadella and salami, pretty tasty if unspectacular. There's Swiss cheese, too, and the bread was a little dry but had some nice flavor to it. The biggest problem here was the olive mix, which wasn't very powerful or plentiful. In my mind, the olives are the essential ingredient that make the muffaletta so memorable, and this version comes up a bit short.

Grilled Cheese

Grilled Cheese

homemade

B

Today is National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day and that's hella stupid! Seriously, it is. A straight-up grilled cheese needs no fanfare. It's simple and wonderful and satisfying. This is merely wheat bread with a bit of butter skillet-grilled with a couple Kraft singles oozing out. Yes, Kraft singles. What? Don't judge.

Grilled Tomato Sandwich

Grilled Tomato Sandwich

homemade

B-

What do you make to accompany homemade beer-cheese soup? Grilled tomato sandwiches, of course. Get it? It's the reverse? It's the best way to annoy your dinner guests with your sense of culinary whimsy? Nevermind.

On toasted dill rye, you've got some crispy bacon, some watercress, some brie, some garlic mustard, and then a somewhat messy serving of heirloom tomatoes. They'd been cooked for a bit in a grill pan with the tiniest droplets of balsamic vinegar added at the end. Those droplets ended up adding a bit too much sweetness to a sandwich with a whole circus of different flavors. Everything tasted good, it was just a bit muddled.

Ham & Cheese Croissant

Ham & Cheese Croissant at Sambalatte

sambalatte.com

B-

Once again we're back at one of suburban Vegas' finest coffee spots, eating food. I never plan to eat a sandwich at a coffee shop due to the risk of eating something that might have been made days ago, but Sambalatte keeps things relatively fresh. The croissant is wonderful, a warmed-up, flaky, buttery bite of splendid sweet-and-savory pleasure. There's nothing more to this sandwich than average slices of swine and melty Swiss, a fine combination. Not bad.

Cheez Whiz Steak

Cheez Whiz Steak at Pop's

popscheesesteaks.com

A

Pop's serves the quintessential cheesesteak in Vegas. It's undeniable. Anybody who has been in Vegas for long knows the funny little A-frame building on Decatur Boulevard that was once an original Weinerschnitzel -- the structure is nearly 50 years old now -- is the absolute top spot for a cheesesteak, the closest point to Philadelphia in Sin City.

We only eat the whiz steak at Pop's. So what you're looking at is a fluffy-soft, 9-inch roll baked by the Amoroso company in Philadelphia, completely packed with paper-thin slices of grilled sirloin, sauteed onions, bell peppers and mushrooms, and a generous slathering of original Kraft-brand Cheez Whiz. It's the perfect combination of tangy cheesishness, crispy veggies and savory, satisfying meat. It's huge, and it's about 10 bucks. The best part is eating it outside on the patio at Pop's, where you would never know you're in Vegas.

Double Croissan'Wich

Double Croissan'Wich with sausage and bacon at Burger King

bk.com

D-

I'm not sure why I eventually end up having fast food breakfast at Burger King. Every few months, strange conditions arise, and I'm eating a fucking croissan'wich. Of course, this has to stop. BK has proven to me that it is willing to go to all sorts of trouble to set new, lower breakfast standards. This sounds like an abusive relationship.

The Double Croissan'Wich: Because a 570-calorie sandwich is a great way to start the day. Same soggy wet cardboard scrambled eggs, only now there's flavorless sausage AND bacon along with melted fake cheese. The only thing BK breakfast has ever had going for it is the mouth-coating butteryness of its half-ass croissants. Have you ever even had a real breakfast sandwich on a real croissant? It's pretty awesome, the whole sweet-savory thing. BK will never get there.

BBQ Pork Sliders

BBQ Pork Sliders at Bottles & Burgers

tivolivillage.doublehelixwine.com

B

Kudos to the folks at Bottles & Burgers for their courage. They've opened yet another Vegas burger joint, they've done it in the struggling Tivoli Village shopping center, and they've gone above and beyond to make it interesting. Of course, a pulled pork slider sandwich is nothing new, but these are pretty damn good. The meat is tender and flavorful but not too soft, the apricot barbecue sauce is not too sweet, the chiptole coleslaw has a delicious zesty, creamy kick, and the baby brioche bun is wonderful. There's event a sweet pickle chip on top, just for fun. Of the several sandwiches we tasted in our first visit to Bottles & Burgers, these baby barbecue bites were the standouts.

Baby Dragon

Baby Dragon at Fukuburger Truck

fukuburger.com

A+

One of Vegas' favorite food trucks, Fukuburger recently opened a restaurant in Los Angeles. We haven't made the trip to Cali yet to see if their Hollywood burgers are as good as the ones off the truck, but clearly the cuisine here in Vegas isn't suffering. At all.

When Chef Mags comes up with something crazy for the daily special, you'd be wise to check it out. Hopefully this masterpiece will make the permanent menu some day, as it's one of the best burgers we've ever had the privilege to devour. This was the Chinese New Year special, hence the funny name. The key to this burger is that they took the standard Fuku patty, already legendary for its bold Asian flavors and tendency to be perfectly cooked, and pepper crusted that bad boy. So the Baby Dragon already comes out with a Sichuan peppercorn crust, then adds applewood-smoked bacon, smoked gouda cheese, and an insane wasabi-hoisin-serrano chile sauce. It's just spicy enough, beautifully balanced by the sweetness from the hoisin and the creamy cheese.

Fukuburger's experiments with umamification continue. Chalk up another victory.

Lomo Completo

Lomo Completo at Rincon de Buenos Aires

Rincon de Buenos Aires at Yelp

B+

Whoa. Seriously. These days lots of places make sandwiches so huge, you'd be crazy to try to down them in one sitting. That's the way I feel about half of the Lomo Completo, a cheesy-beefy-eggy masterpiece found in this humble Argentinean outpost hiding in the neighborhood of Vegas' Chinatown. Super-stacked on top of rustic, crusty pressed bread is steak, thinly sliced ham, melty white cheese, fried eggs, lettuce, tomato and onion. All of the components taste great, particularly the ham, cheese and egg that seem to steal their way into every mouthful. The steak is no joke, juicy, tender filet that easily adds up to twice the size of what you get if you order a petite cut in any steakhouse. It's simply the most filling sandwich we've encountered yet in Vegas, and it's delicious, too.

Pigstrami

Pigstrami

homemade

A+

Pastrami is kind of a big deal 'round here. It might be the single best sandwich stuffing ever created. It's so important, we've tried to make our own version. But it's not easy, and it's very complicated to accurately re-create something you love so much (especially when others are doing it so well.)

But the hunger for pastrami is omnipresent. So we decided to twist it up a little, really make it our own. Thus was born Pigstrami. We grabbed a five-pound bone-in pork shoulder, and dry-brined it for almost three days with an incredibly powerful spice rub of traditional pastrami seasonings: black pepper, coriander seed, garlic, red pepper flake, other stuff. Then we slow-roasted this porktacular creation for six hours, rendering fatty, glossy, beyond-tender meat that falls apart in your fingers and melts spectacularly in your mouth. Plus, tastes like pastrami. (The only signature element we didn't try to incorporate is smokiness, but we're still very happy with the results. Obviously.) Dropped a pile of this decadent goodness on garlic mustard slathered rye, and added some homemade pickled banana peppers for some extra bite and texture.

Sandwich success is a beautiful thing.

The Hangover Burger

The Hangover Burger at Binion's Cafe

binions.com

B+

Binion's in downtown Las Vegas is one of the true old-school spots left in the city. Anybody who was hanging out downtown before the current hipster redevelopment knows the best place to grab a burger in the area -- and one of the best burgers in Vegas overall -- was always the greasy-wonderful "snack bar" counter in the casino. A couple of years ago, Binion's closed its cozy subterranean coffee shop and expanded this "snack bar" spot, and now it's known as Binion's Cafe. And they're still serving up badass burgers.

This is the only way to upgrade that nice, juicy, straight-from-the-flattop-grill cheeseburger. The Hangover has two big strips of bacon, an egg fried hard in butter, a thick slice of American cheese and a nice ground beef patty on a soft, fresh bun. Toss on lettuce, tomato, pickle and onion served on the side, and Binion's superior French fries make this meal a complete breakfast, no matter the hour. The best burgers are from sketchy little diners. It's a fact.

Spicy Baja Black Bean Burger

Spicy Baja Black Bean Burger at Smashburger

smashburger.com

A-

The burgeoning Smashburger chain switched up its vegetarian offerings recently, offering a new black bean patty available as a cow or chicken substitute on any of its sandwiches. It's pretty good stuff, too: a soft, delicate, almost crumbly patty with plenty of flavor. They smash it on the grill and quick-cook it, just like they do with their beef burgers. The obvious choice for this specialized faux burger is the Spicy Baja option, with pepperjack cheese, guacamole, fresh jalapeno, lettuce, tomato and onion. The hot-to-cool balance is particularly effective against the lighter flavor of the black bean burger, resulting in an ultimately satisfying veggie experience.

Salami Sandwich

Salami Sandwich

homemade

C

So one time I was making a salami sandwich at home, and I put the thing right on the counter, no plate, just like this picture here. I left the kitchen for all of 45 seconds and when I returned, the sandwich was gone. But my dog was there. He turned away from me. When I cornered him, I saw small half circles of salami jutting out from around his mouth. He had the whole sandwich in his mouth, hadn't even chomped it at all. It was just resting in there. He was smuggling it.

This is regular old plastic-package, store-bought salami, piled three layers deep on dill rye bread. That's it. Nothing else. I've been eating this since I was a kid. That will probably continue forever, dog smugglers notwithstanding.

Sicilian Tuna

Sicilan Tuna at 'Wichcraft

mgmgrand.com

B-

A few words about 'Wichcraft: Yes, it is created by Tom Colicchio. Yes, it's a Vegas sandwich shop located on the Strip, way way back in the restaurant walk of the MGM Grand, near the pool. Yes, We had lunch there of two sandwiches, a bag of chips, a soda, a beer and a banana for $37. And yes, I felt compelled to revisit 'Wichcraft because I had heard and read some negative things, that it wasn't so great, that maybe the food there had fallen off.

I disagree with that last part. It may be a little spendy, but hey, that's the Strip for you. If you yanked this joint out of MGM and dropped into a Vegas suburb, all the people who say it's not good or it costs too much would be falling over themselves, blogging and Yelping and talking about how great this little gourmet sandwichery is, how the ingredients and breads are wonderful and rustic and innovative. It's a great little neighborhood sandwich shop, it just happens to be in a huge casino resort. Accept it.

This is the 'Wichcraft version of a tuna salad sandwich, way better than the average version. The fish is light, like fluffy cloud of oceanic deliciousness, and there's no sign of glop mixed into the meat to yuckify it. Just lots of tasty fish, a little fennel and olive relish dabbed here and there, with a thin spread of mayo and some sharp lemon on the bottom layer of a soft, chewy baguette. It's quite good, I just wish it had some greens to add a little healthy, vegetably crispness. But overall, this is good stuff, and emblematic of what you'll find at 'Wichcraft.