Banh Mi Thit Cha

Banh Mi Thit Cha at Pho Thanh Huong

Pho Thanh Huong at Yelp

A

This may not be the best banh mi sandwich I've ever eaten, but in Las Vegas, I don't think there's a better place to eat banh mi, a more consistent French-Vietnamese sandwich factory in this town, than Pho Thanh Huong. It's just off the Strip, within a few steps of UNLV, which is incredibly good news for the broke-ass college students of Las Vegas. Because not only are they baking their own crackly-fresh baguettes, not only are they stuffing in larger portions of meat and pickled veggies, but the real clincher is: these babies are about four bucks each. Makes you wanna go back to school, almost. Along with the traditional crisp vegetable and herb fillings, this one has roasted pork roll, pate, and lightly cured Vietnamese ham. Yep, it's a porkathon. Go get a couple.

Cheeseburger Bite

Cheeseburger Bite at 7-11

7-eleven.com

F-

I'm really sorry, you guys. Sometimes things get so bad, you don't know where the bottom is. Well, this it. If you're going to eat something that literally looks like a piece of shit, you get what you deserve.

Tortas Sampler

Tortas Sampler at T&T

tacosandtequilalv.com

B+

Available only on the lunch menu at Luxor's Mexican joint Tacos & Tequila, these tasty friends are just too good to limit yourself to just one flavor. I would usually never review three sandwiches at once, but these tortas are equally delicious, mostly because of the soft, spongy, sweet, perfectly absorbent bolillo rolls. This light, lovely cloud of a bread is the quintessential component in these sandwiches, which are surprisingly authentic considering this is the Vegas Strip. They have been made a bit more friendly by this outgoing kitchen, but the flavors are staying in the spirit of tradition. From the left, you've got carne asada (tender and juicy with a bit of sour funk), carnitas (succulence personified) and shredded chicken (moist and slightly spicy), plus each also has lettuce and tomato, fresh pico de gallo, and a thin layer of soft, long-simmered bean puree for extra texture. If you happen to find yourself in the Luxor at lunchtime, allow me to introduce option numero uno.

BLTA Mini Scraper

The BLTA Mini Scraper

homemade

B-

This is a random-ass, whatever we've got in the kitchen kinda piece. A chunk of Albertsons starchy-yet-delicious French bread, slabbed out. Smashed avocado smothered across the bottom. Five pieces of bacon that turned out a little too crispy, a couple nice crisp iceberg lettuce leaves, and thick slices of yellow heirloom tomato. Mustard, of course. All done. It's too tall to bite due to the bread density, and it barely stands up by itself long enough to snap a pic. But if you can get your mouth around it, satisfying.  Even though it looks weird.

Chili Cheese Fritos Coney

Chili Cheese Fritos Coney at Sonic

sonicdrivein.com

C+

Not sure why I was compelled to order this when I really just wanted a root beer float, but once I clarified that this was, in fact, not a foot-long, I was game. Because look, Fritos with chili and cheese is a good combination. On a mediocre-at-best Sonic hot dog, still pretty good. There are diced onions and mustard on this baby, but the magic that makes it special is recognizing these are chili cheese-flavored Fritos. So, yeah. It's meaty and crunchy and salty and chili-y, so it's enjoyable on a very primal level.

Torta Ahogada

Torta Ahogada at El Birotazo

elbirotazo.com

A+

A tiny eastside taco shop in Las Vegas. You would never find this place, in a million years, and if you drove past it, you wouldn't consider stopping in for a torta. This is the kind of sandwich in the kind of restaurant someone has to tell you about, and that's what happened. And now I'm telling (writing) you about it, and you're going to go try it. For simplification, let's call this the Guadalajaran version of the French dip, only with pork, and WAY BETTER. The roll is dense and crusty. The meat, piled on top of a thin layer of refried, mashed beans, is carnita-syle pork, roasted to succulent perfection. And there's quite a bit of it. That glossy orange sauce it's swimming in? Drenched in? Totally saturated in, so that the sponge-like roll is absorbing every drop of that sweet-and-earthy spiced tomato salsa? It's fantastic. What you can't see is in that silver bowl in the back: spicy chile de arbol, another smooth salsa rich and thick and hot as hell, with raw white onion shards hanging out. For fun. You need to pile that stuff on each bite of porky wonder to get the full effect. That's what this sandwich should be called: The Full Effect.

Diablo Lobster Roll

Diablo Lobster Roll at Lobster ME

lobsterme.com

A

Well, well ... what have we got here? It seems the crazy folks at Lobster ME have struck again. Not only are they off their rockers enough to try to build a fast-casual franchise around a single, expensive (yet beloved) ingredient, they're already tinkering with their menu, and the experiment in this case yields improved results. The basis lobster roll, all sweet and buttery, is delicious. The Diablo is a hot and spicy upgrade, something like bouillabaisse on a bun. Red peppery marinara sauce, much like a Fra Diavolo, saturates the chunky lobster bits squished into the buttery, toasty roll. Order it extra spicy or it won't have enough kick, but when it does, it's a flavor knockout. It's messy, meaty, and awesome. There's only one problem: the smaller size, big enough for lunch but small enough to tempt you to order up, is almost 20 bucks by itself. Sheesh. These guys are gonna have to find a way to knock a few bucks off if they plan to take over the world. But ... I paid, ate it all, and I'd do it again.

Roasted Pork Panini

Roasted Pork Panini at 'Wichcraft

mgmgrand.com

A

That's what I'm talking about. It might not look like a huge pile of juicy piggy meat on this baby, but it is. The compressed, crunchy goodness of panini bread shrinks the size of the sandwich and plays tricks on your eyes. This is actually gigantic, two great big slabs of country bread grilled to crisp, buttery perfection. It's easily the size of two sandwiches, and great for sharing. Packed inside is a simple, lovely mountain of roasted pork, a thin layer of sharp coppa, a thicker layer of melted fontina cheese, and tangy, vinegary pepper relish. This sandwich is actually too good; you can't eat it all because it's too rich and succulent. Another superb offering from 'Wichcraft.

Buffalo Chicken

Buffalo Chicken Sandwich at Smashburger

smashburger.com

B+

It's kinda weird that Smashburger treats chicken the same way it does burgers. That's to say, they pound the bird flat and smash it down on the grill. With ground beef, this method creates an interesting shape and texture, with a nice, nearly crunchy outside. With chicken, it creates an odd, almost rubbery texture to the meat, albeit with a crisp, scorched outside that tastes nice and is pleasant to chomp. But the chicken is the easy part of this surprisingly good sandwich, lacquered with Frank's hot sauce, crumbly blue cheese, lettuce and tomato on a soft, buttery bun. It's another winner from the Smash crew, a great variation on our love for spicy chicken wings with something creamy and cheesy to dip them in.

Sandwich Sundays Presents: The Taco Muffin

The Taco Muffin

homemade

B-

Does anyone else remember when Taco Bell served Bellburgers? Or am I super old? This breakfast mini-sandwich is Bellburger-inspired, a whole wheat English muffin with green chili-spiced, taco-style ground turkey, iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, and jack cheese. It's not quite there: the sweetness of the muffin struggles against the spicy taco meat, but overall it's a satisfying, meaty bite. Just think of it as a hybrid between a Bellburger and an Egg Mcmuffin.

Junkyard Dog

Junkyard Dog at Weinerschnitzel

weinerschnitzel.com

D

For the average eater, a new kind of hot dog at a fast food restaurant might generate slight interest. For me, it equals therapy. Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I just NOT EAT this stuff? The shrink doesn't have any answers.


The JYD at the 'schnitz is the standard chili cheese dog plus French fries, mustard and grilled (diced) onions. This is an improvement, mostly because the 'schnitz fries are probably the best, most satisfying item on the entire menu. They're thin, crispy, and not too greasy. They're nice, but a big bite of fries plus this appalling weiner is not a pleasant textural combo. It's yucky. The onions add a little depth of flavor, but not enough to make this thing edible.

440 Sandwich

440 Sandwich at Rachel's Kitchen

rachelskitchen.com

B

Doesn't "Rachel's Kitchen"sound like the type of place that serves "gourmet sandwiches" such as a nice, healthy, tasty one with grilled chicken breast, roasted red peppers, goat cheese, avocado, tomatoes, lettuce and mayo on toasty wheat bread? Of course it does. Not trying to be snarky. Rachel's is actually one of the best places to eat at The District at Green Valley Ranch in Henderson, a quaint suburban retail walk that could use a little more retail and a little less quaint. Nevertheless, this is a delicious sandwich, particularly the creamy goat cheese working against the sweet, delightful roasted peppers.

BBQ, Bacon and Cheddar Smashburger

BBQ, Bacon & Cheddar at Smashburger

smashburger.com

A

Let's be real: Smashburger is consistently impressive. Sometimes the greasiness of their burgers, depending on the other toppings that may or may not balance things out, can be too much to handle. On this barbecue burger, there is enough texture and flavor to offset any surplus juicyness, not to mention the formidable soakage ability of the firm egg bun. This sucker has cheddar cheese, sweet barbecue sauce, applewood smoked bacon and a nice pile of fried onion straws. Not too sweet, with a crispy-meaty bite, and plenty of richness from real cheese. Smashburger is staying at or near the top when it comes to fast food in Vegas.

Chef Mike's McGriddle

Chef Mike's McGriddle at Border Grill Brunch

bordergrill.com

A

The weekend brunch at Border Grill -- located in Mandalay Bay -- is one of the best meals in Vegas right now, an insane cavalcade of wonderful small plates for an incredible price, and the man who gets the credit is Chef Mike Minor. In addition to killer huevos rancheros, Oaxacan chocolate pancakes, green corn tamales, plantain empanadas, machaca chilaquiles, and way, way more, Chef Mike unleashes an off-the-top-of-the-dome special dish every week. We were lucky enough to visit when he was going all golden arches on that ass, stacking a juicy, spicy sausage patty on a fresh-from-scratch biscuit with bacon, cheese, chipotle aioli and a maple syrup drizzle. That sticky sweetness pushes it way over the edge, duking it out deliciously with the savory meat and rich, buttery biscuit. Can't wait to see what he dreams up next week.

Ultimate Angus Philly

Ultimate Angus Philly at Arby's

arbys.com

C+

The Philly cheesesteak may be an iconic sandwich, but it's certainly not above bastardization. Fast food spots have been doing it for years, and Arby's, as usual, is one guilt culprit. Granted, there does appear to be some textural and flavor difference between this "Ultimate Angus" sliced roast beef and the normal gray-green garbage they use. But the portion of meat is too small to be considered a real Philly, which should be exploding with sliced or chopped meat. Cheese, peppers, onions, blah blah blah. It's still Arby's. Almost a nice try. Not quite.

Red & Green Veggie Burger

Red & Green Veggie Burger

homemade

B-

Okay, we've got a honey wheat bun smeared with Sierra Nevada Porter Spicy Brown Porter Mustard, a Dr. Praeger's veggie burger patty, a melted Kraft American cheese single, homemade pickled red onion, roma tomato slices, and hulking green bell pepper slices. This was nearly a hit. What do we know? What have we learned in our quest to make a legitimate veggie burger (or legitimize the veggie burger)? We know we've got some winners here, with thick slabs of bell pepper that provide a fresh, delightful crunch, and the amazing pickled onions. Wherever this mission goes from here, these two ingredients will be along for the ride. The fake cheese is not a good match, but it does create a peculiar, real-burgerish bite. But it's guilt by association; it makes you feel like you're eating some garbage when you're not. Lesson learned. Let's keep moving.

Muffaletta

Muffaletta at Magnolia's Veranda

fourqueens.com

C+

It's hard to explain exactly how, when searching for a tasty sandwich in Downtown Vegas, I ended up sitting down in the coffee shop at the Four Queens. As far as I can tell, unless you're checking in for some beers at the Chicago Brewing Co., there's really no reason to step foot into the Four Queens. But this is Fremont Street; unexpected things happen down here with totally expected frequency.

This version of a muffaletta is stacked with salty, run-of-the-mill ham, mortadella and salami, pretty tasty if unspectacular. There's Swiss cheese, too, and the bread was a little dry but had some nice flavor to it. The biggest problem here was the olive mix, which wasn't very powerful or plentiful. In my mind, the olives are the essential ingredient that make the muffaletta so memorable, and this version comes up a bit short.

Grilled Cheese

Grilled Cheese

homemade

B

Today is National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day and that's hella stupid! Seriously, it is. A straight-up grilled cheese needs no fanfare. It's simple and wonderful and satisfying. This is merely wheat bread with a bit of butter skillet-grilled with a couple Kraft singles oozing out. Yes, Kraft singles. What? Don't judge.

Grilled Tomato Sandwich

Grilled Tomato Sandwich

homemade

B-

What do you make to accompany homemade beer-cheese soup? Grilled tomato sandwiches, of course. Get it? It's the reverse? It's the best way to annoy your dinner guests with your sense of culinary whimsy? Nevermind.

On toasted dill rye, you've got some crispy bacon, some watercress, some brie, some garlic mustard, and then a somewhat messy serving of heirloom tomatoes. They'd been cooked for a bit in a grill pan with the tiniest droplets of balsamic vinegar added at the end. Those droplets ended up adding a bit too much sweetness to a sandwich with a whole circus of different flavors. Everything tasted good, it was just a bit muddled.

Ham & Cheese Croissant

Ham & Cheese Croissant at Sambalatte

sambalatte.com

B-

Once again we're back at one of suburban Vegas' finest coffee spots, eating food. I never plan to eat a sandwich at a coffee shop due to the risk of eating something that might have been made days ago, but Sambalatte keeps things relatively fresh. The croissant is wonderful, a warmed-up, flaky, buttery bite of splendid sweet-and-savory pleasure. There's nothing more to this sandwich than average slices of swine and melty Swiss, a fine combination. Not bad.